David, Poland.

This guy.

You know when you only have a couple pics to go on? And you build up an entire real person based on like 2 pics and a handful of messages exchanged between you? Yeah, man. I was so wrong!

Nothing major was different it was just quite surprising how information online about someone or something can be perceived differently by different people.

So, in my head, David was a slightly chubbier guy, fair ish skin, seemed pleasant and soft. I say soft because he invited me to Kata Beach, Phuket which was about a 20 minute drive from Patong Beach. He was sunbathing with his Mumsy and asked if I wanted to join. An amusing invite I will admit but you know what!? Lets do it!

As I approached the beach, I’m messaging him saying I’m nearby etc etc. I look up from my phone there is this really tall, really bronzed guy lurking about. Immediately I’m like who is this joker!? He better not obstruct my path, where the heck is David?? Hang on this man is kinda approaching me as I get closer, uh oh. Help.


*Under my breath* “Oh that’s David.” Panic. Okay, hostile mode off, friendly mode on, soften the face and smileeee Oh hey David!

This guy! I will admit I felt a little inferior to this guy, which is unusual. Don’t get me wrong he was completely normal but my prejudgement of what he would be like in person threw me off and it took me a second to adjust.

He was incredibly self confident, out spoken, opinionated and his English was great. He was an entrepreneur. I think. I am not sure, he told me all about himself and his business as we swam in the sea, I was too busy trying to navigate the massive waves to take in all the details.

He was pleasant enough and I liked him.. and his mum (haha) but he did have a little ice to his personality. Like I couldn’t imagine him being all gooey in a relationship, in fact I imagine a swift back hand would be his level of affection.

His Mum spoke NO English but she did manage to discuss how pale I was at great length with David. And yes I was envious of his glowy tropical sun tan and piercing icey blue eyes combo but leave me and my moon tan alone. Dang son.

I didn’t even get a good bye hug! Dude, my love language is touch.