Make Like A Banana, And Split.

Welcome to The Salt Deposits. Bring water, it’s not going to be fun.

**Written in the moments of pure ready salted crisps, may or may not reflect mood 10 minutes after publishing**

Is there something you just keep doing and every time it doesn’t work out and you’re like when will I learn!? And then you take on board these life lessons, FINALLY. You’ve scraped a pass from that one class you kept taking at Life University because you kept flunking and dyou know what, since then, life improved by 10 points and you’re pretty happs, but then something comes along and tests you. Let’s see how you deal with this you mortal skin bag full of meat.

My lack of social media has severely reduced my FOMO, and in some regards, replaced it with JOMO (Joy of missing out). But the one thing that really brings it surging back (at least I think it’s FOMO, maybe its mixed in with separation anxiety and overthinking) is long distance relationships.

I’ve been in three long distance relationships, all three crashed and burned as fast as they ignited with the distance certainly being one of the larger factors causing the eventual breaking down of the relationship. Unfortunately it took three to realise they aren’t for me. I probably could have saved a lot of nonsense and time (BOYY the time spent on the train over YEARS, from Leeds to London, I’ll never get it back).

But then along comes a lil spanner, not enough to disrupt the entire works but just big enough to catch a cog or two and cause them to be misaligned for a few days. A blast from the past I’ll call it, (you know what I mean).

Wait no, now as I write this I realise FOUR blasts from the past have popped up out of nowhere in the last month! What the hell. No wonder I am noticing a little disruption in my zen. And an array of blasts too, not just Exes, but friends, and those in-between.

Are you lonely in Lock Town, Coronaville?

I have no beef with these individuals and it’s nice to catch up. but dang, some of them remind me of times best forgot, or at least not revisited!

Bringing up negative angsty feelings I haven’t felt in yeeeeears.

ESPECIALLY, when they do repeat behaviours. (definitely more fool me hey!) Yeah sure come and enter my life again, and absolutely! Yes, you can leave again just as fast, in fact, just don’t talk to me once you have satisfied your need to check in and catch up! See you again in a year or two when you are bored again šŸ™‚ Kiss Kiss.

The problem is… (because I realise none of this makes sense… ) All these cute lil blasts live a million miles away. It’s not like we bump into each other in the street and catch up! No, these blasts are going out of their way to re-enter my life and I’m salty about it. And I just learned the hard way that long distances affect friendships/relationships. We humans just don’t have the ability to have healthy relationships when the person you are supposedly coupled with lives 100 miles away. Back in the day when you only knew your small community… it makes much more sense to me now!

What gets me ready salted is when they’re too immature to even cope with re-entering, and do a runner ASAP after. What was your motive? Did you just want to see what I’m up to? Did you get your dose and that’ll hold you for now? You’re not a ghost. Grow up.


Gif montage to explain my feelings on the matter:

Photo by Autri Taheri on Unsplash